Estimado Juez,
not required of you
I will be eighteen next week and want to thank you for the time and interest you have given me.
I know the luckiest day of my life was when you were assigned to decide who would have custody of me. As you learned later, I was actually outside sleeping in the backseat of my father's car in the summer heat for the 4 hours my parents were in court.
You were able to see that neither of my parents would or could care for me without intense supervision. Therefore, for the last eight years of my life I was brought to the courthouse and visited you four times each year in your chambers. You checked the folder I brought with my current medical, school records and notes from my teachers. You talked to me and listened while you review the status of my custody. You were the only adult who really cared about me.
I know that what you did for me was not required of you and that you didn’t get any extra pay for it.
I have seen lots of other kids fall through the cracks. Thank you for saving my life and guiding my parents as they raised me. Without your warnings, threats and guidance my parents would have made a monster out of me.
I have finished high school and have applied to a culinary institute to train as a chef.
I intend to stay on the path you have kept me on and will show my appreciation for your efforts by being the kind of person you have shown me I can be.

Thank you,

Marty
Estimado Juez,
no such of a thing
I wish there was no such of a thing as divorce.

Karl
Estimado Juez,
see your grades
Dear Mom,
Dear Dad,
Dear Attorneys,
Thought you might want to see your grades before they went home to your parents. Since there has been little effort on your part to improve, we feel you will have to repeat many of the basic classes.
Report Card
Paying Attention S-
Attitude F
Getting Along With Others S-
Finishing Your Assignments On Time S-
Behaving Responsibly S-
Learning From Your Mistakes F
Attendance S
Homework S-
Taking Responsibility For Your Actions F
Adapting To New Situations F
Displaying Proper Anger Management F
Keeping Promises F
Effort To Improve S-
Marshal M.
Estimado Juez,
need the money
The girls at school asked me to go skating with them but we don’t have the money because we don’t get my child support.
Could you do something to help us? We need the money.
Not just for skating but for shoes and school clothes and really important things.
We only got a check three times. I won’t be old enough to baby sit till next summer.

Thank you for your help,

Erica
Estimado Juez,
isn’t old enough
Get a clue. My dad does not take care of me here. My stepmom is supposed to and she isn’t any happier about it than I am. She is only twelve years older than me and doesn’t have any opinion my dad hasn’t given her. She hates having to be seen with me. She makes sure everyone she talks to knows she isn’t old enough to have a teenager. She won’t say anything to dad because she likes the credit cards and lifestyle.
My dad works all the time and just wanted custody so he wouldn’t have to pay money to my mom. He says if I leave my stuff stays with him and he won’t pay for college. I don’t care any more.
I need to see my mother more than every other weekend. How old do I have to be to get the court to listen to me?

Sincerely,

Elizabeth R.
Estimado Juez,
I dont care
I dont care what anyone says. I am going to be just like my dad when I grow up.

Patrick
Estimado Juez,
out of control
My little brother thinks it will help if we send you a letter. I don’t think it will but I guess it is worth a try.
Our parents are totally out of control. Dad is living with some bimbo from his office and mom is dating a real jerk. They say the meanest things about each other and use words we get grounded for.
I spend more time taking care of my brother than either of them and I’m not ready for the job. I just want to be a normal kid again.
Our parents say things are better now than when they were together but that is totally a lie. My brother and I dont have any idea of where we are going to be from one day to the next or what will happen next week.
We think we would be better off at Grams in California. We both have savings bonds that aunt Debbie has given us for the last three years to pay for the tickets.
Call or e-mail me at my school account.

Thanks tons,

Cass and Mike
Estimado Juez,
Dont you care
Dont you care how I feel?

Joshua E.
Estimado Juez,
hell for ternity
Can you ask God to help my mom.
My dad says that since she is not a christian she is going to burn in hell for ternity. I love my mom and have asked Jesus to save her but my dad said that wont help. He said she has to accept Jesus in her heart to be saved.
Mom said she will be just fine cause God loves her to.
Since your are old and very important could you please talk to God for me. I worry about my mom all the time.

Thank you very very much,

Janice J.
Estimado Juez,
Dan lets me hang
Since our parents started having trouble they don’t have any time for me.
My big brother Dan lets me hang out with him.
They make cigarettes out of marijuana and steal from the grogery store.

I am scared.

Jarred L.
Estimado Juez,
started kids court
We started a kids court. We have a desk for the judge, a chair for the witnes, two tables and four chairs for the sides and eight chairs for the jury. We don’t have twelve because we don’t have enough kids on the block.
When a kid has a problem or has done something bad we open kids court. We put the ten parts that other people get to be on paper. The kid that has to go to court and the person on the other side already have their parts. The rest of us take a paper out of the vase and that tells you what part you have to do.
We only do kids court on Saturday cause we all school and stuff. The first week we had five cases. Now sometimes we don’t have any and usually we have two.
A mom wants to bring a kid from the next block to our court. Can we do that?

Thanks,

Whitney B.
I been the judge four times.
Estimado Juez,
be a wrestler
When I grow up I am going to be a wrestler so no one can hurt my momie no more.

Mick
Estimado Juez,
both say he stinks
So my parents sent me to that shrink you told them to and now they both say he stinks. He doesn’t stink. He gave me the words to say to be ok.

This is the list of what I am allowed to say.

It is not fair for you to attempt to put me in that position.
I am not comfortable with what you are asking me to do.
I am not comfortable with what you are telling me.
I don’t want to make a decision about this subject.
I am not an adult and this is an adult subject.
I am sorry you feel that way.
Please don’t say those things about someone I love. I don’t let anyone talk that way about you.
I like Mr. Bondholder and would like to keep talking to him.

Thank you,

Frank B.
Estimado Juez,
only smile
You should only smile.
When I saw you I was afraid of you because you were wareing a big black dress and your face has a bunch of ruffles and you look like a mean monster.
When you smile all the ruffles look very friendly.

Leland
Estimado Juez,
pull myself out
I have never liked school until now. I went to the counselor about the trouble I was having at home.
Miss. Chow said my problems were real and important but that I had to pull myself out of only concentrating on myself. She got me assigned to the school newspaper and my job is to review books that deal with issues that concern students. I have a special interest in children and their feelings when their parents are getting a divorce. This extra curricular activity has raised my grade in literature from a C- to an A. Cool hu?
I would like to do a Divorce Newsletter for other kids in divorce. I have included an example of what I have in mind. It includes articles by other staff members and reviews of a couple of movies and these books: What Can I Do?, It's Not Your Fault, Koko Bear, Kids Advice to Kids and Helping Children Survive Divorce.
Please contact our student advisor Mr. Franklin at Central High School if you have any questions. He said he would assist us with this project.

Thank you,

Linda S.
Estimado Juez,
still be sweeping
If you had to start as the person who sweeps the floor and work your way up to judge by doing a good job at everything they gave you, and had to keep doing a good job to stay a judge, you would still be sweeping floors.

Gary R.
Estimado Juez,
wants us kids to hat
Mom and dad are very different in lots of ways. Dad is still very angry with mom since she left him. Dad wants us kids to hate mom. He thinks we won’t love him if we love mom. When we do something wrong or that reminds him of mom he yells, you are just like your mother, this means we are really horrible.
I look like mom and I am the oldest girl and I am very close with mom and I help with the little kids at home and at dads. I know what to do to take care of them and he doesn’t like me to decide. Dad is at work most of the day and does not know what to feed them or when to put them in bed.
Mom said he has a lot of issues and that I may be reminding him of the pain of us all leaving. My brothers and sisters still are upset about the last time dad and I were yelling at each other. Mom said I can’t yell at dad or any other adult. Mom said I should try to reminding him of the ways that I am like him so he is not feeling so threatened. I think it will be easier when school starts again. Dad always liked helping me with math and science projects. Mom said that seeking his advice and participation would help show him that he hasn’t lost us to her.
Mom said I am not responsible for what happened between them or for fixing it. She said I could help by being the best me I could be and tell him I am glad he is my dad and show him I respect him and tell him I love him.
I have been doing what mom said and what you said in your office. It is taking a long time but I think you are right. We still need mom and dad and they need us.

Sincerely,

Lindsey, James, Michael, Daniel, Seth B.
Estimado Juez,
their own worries
You could really help me by sending me a copy of my parent’s divorce papers. Now that our holidays and weekends are divided between our parents it is hard for us to arrange our activities or make any plans.
With a list of when we are supposed to be where, I could make a calendar for us to check before we make plans. Actually I would make two one for each house.
Our parents are dealing with so many of their own worries that they can’t seem to remember we need to know the new system. The calendars would actually take away some of the arguments.
If you don’t have the papers, please let me know who to call.

Sincerely,

Hank G.
Estimado Juez,
stinks for me
I hate moving back and forth each month. This may be ok for my parents, the lawyers and you, but is stinks for me. I have talked to my parents, counselor at school and to my teachers. No one is listening. I can’t keep up my grades, and I am really miserable.
I don’t even want to hear another of you say, Well there is nothing I can do about this.
Somebody better get this straightened out or I will and none of you are going to like it. And it will make you all look as stupid as you are.

Jacob D.
Estimado Juez,
made them cry
We had to write what we did this summer so I wrote about our divorce.
Miss Lichtenwalter gave me a 100 on my paper.
Miss Lichtenwalter said she was going to read it in front of the class. I wanted to hide my head.
When she finished reading my story the class was real quiet. Miss Lichtenwalter asked if anyone had any thoughts about what the story meant to them and if would share their feelings.
Lots of people said it made them sad. Some said the had the same trouble in there family and it helped them to know that I had the same thing. Almost everyone already knew other kids like me.
Miss Lichtenwalter said she read my story to the teachers in the teachers lounge and it made them cry.
I feel kind of funny but I feel better. You should tell kids to write about their divorce and feel better too.

Wyatt
Estimado Juez,
can I take my cat
Mom said I have to wait for your answer. Can I take my cat to Canada when I go for summer visit?

Megan
Estimado Juez,
I get nervous
My dad says there is a right and wrong way to do everything. He doesn’t care if you can get the same results a different way. The home evaluation woman says that my dad’s not able to be flexible and that is not good for me.
I like living with my dad because I can depend on him and our house. We eat dinner at the same time each night and go to church every Sunday. I can have friends spend the night on Friday and I am always home on Tuesday nights in case my mom calls.
Dad always remembers to come to my school events and lets me do all the sports except football. He never forgets to make sure there is money in my lunch account at school. My dad says my homework is my responsibility and he reads the newspaper at the table while I do my homework.
People like my mom better than my dad because she is everyones best friend. Sometimes we eat dinner right after school and other times not until bedtime. When she forgets to do the wash we stop at Walmart to get me something clean to put on for school. If she sleeps late I don’t make it to school that day. Mom doesn’t like schedules because they inhibit the flow of life. Everyone says my mom is interesting and exciting.
I need to live where I have been living. When things are exciting all the time I get nervous.

Thank you,

Brad E.
Estimado Juez,
kids lawyers club
I started a kids lawyers club. We could come to court for the kids. You already have grown-up lawyers for grownups. But they dont get paid by the kids so they dont listen to the kids. We dont get paid by the kids either because they usually dont have no money.
I think having kids lawyers for the kids is a good idea. I am very good at telling when people are telling the truth so I am a good kids lawyer.
Please send me any information I will need to do this.

Respectfully yours,

Mark H.

PS
When I grow up I will be happy to help out with some of the grownups but I will still listen to the kids.
Estimado Juez,
This system stinks
This system stinks. It’s like all of us are walking around waiting for you to decide which part of us isn’t worth keeping. It would still hurt allot, but could you find a faster way?
We weren’t ever a happy family but we were a whole family. We won’t ever be a whole anything ever again. I don’t even know if each of us can be whole people again.
Big things, little things, nothing is good any more. I don’t know if it ever will be. Like you really care.

Sincerely,

Ricki V.
Estimado Juez,
frequent flyer miles
I fly to my mom’s for spring break, summer Thanksgiving and Christmas. Mom pays for my ticket to her house and my dad pays for my ticket home.
I am always on the same airline. I think I should get the frequent flyer miles since I do all the traveling. I think I should get to decide what I want to do with the points. I have enough for two round trips any place in the world cause I been traveling for eleven years now.
The flyer reports come to me at my dad’s house cause that’s where I really live. I already called the airline to make sure they don’t expire and they said I was the one who owned the points.
Is there a court order about this that would help me?

Your friend,

Jeff G.
Estimado Juez,
you decide
First I want you to decide cause my parents cant. Then I do not want you to take so long cause theere is so much trouble and I think if you decide everything will be back. The guy that lives next door is real old. He sais that things take as long as they take and some times you need to just sit back and watch cause it is not your job. Now I see that it needs to take a long time so my parents will get done being mad at each othere. We are the first ones in the family to get divorced so we aint to good at it. The old man said he did not get old by being dum so I will do what he sais.

Demitus
Estimado Juez,
leave me alone
Would you just tell my dad to leave me alone.
He calls and makes a big deal about picking me up for the weekend and then does not show up or call.
This is not a one time deal it happens all the time.
I am really tired of this shit. I do not want to talk to him or see him any more. I don’t care where he is or what happens to him.
I do not give a dam what you or my mother say. I am not talking to him or going to see him again.
When I was little I would cry cause he did not come. Not any more.
I got a list of all the times he stood me up and I am putting it on my front door, taking it to the neighbors, my teacher, counselor and the dean of boys.
If he tries to make me go with him I will call the police.

James S.
Estimado Juez,
doesn’t hurt or feel
It doesn’t hurt any more. It doesn’t feel any more.

Beau
Estimado Juez,
walk home slow
I love school and my favorite teacher is Miss. Lemley. I stay after school to wipe the black board and put the chairs on the desks. If she has papers to grade she lets me sit at my desk to do my homework. I go to school early so I can sit with her at the teachers table and eat breakfast. I walk home real slow and I go the long way.
My Mom lets me ride to the early service at church with the Jacobsons and then I stay for Sunday school and children’s church and the regular service. The people are real nice to me and they are nice to each other. I help serve lunch to the old people and the Wood’s family drop me off at home at 1:30 in the afternoon.
On Friday I ride the with bus home with Becky and we have dinner. Her parents take us to the Girl Scout meeting and ice cream. Lots of times I get to spend the weekend.
Grandma and Gramps Clifton let me spend the night and sometimes I go to Aunt Gina.

It isn’t nice being at home.

Sincerely,

Samantha
Estimado Juez,
not allowed to talk
We are not allowed to talk about our mom. We would like to live with her because she is probably very rich and really misses us and loves us. Don’t tell dad what we decided.
Estimado Juez,
musta done something
Would you tell us what is going on. None of the grown ups will talk to us. Mom and dad say we didn’t do anything and they love us all. We talked about it and we think we musta done something. They always were fighting because of us and we are trying to be very good.
Andre started wetting the bed again and we are trying to help him stop and clean it up each morning. Becky is bitting her nails till they bleed and my stomach hurts all the time. Katie and Jen are just scared.
Since I am the biggest they think I can get us some help. I think we are much better children now and would like you to help us. If you will fix this we won’t ask for anything for Christmas.

Yours very truly,

Mark and Katie and Jennie and Becky and Andre
Estimado Juez,
girlfriend is naked
Tell my dad’s girlfriend to stop walking around the house naked when my dad isn’t home.
I have tried to tell my dad, but he thinks Heather is an angel and that if I am seeing things it is because I am spying on her.
Heather tried to get my dad to take the lock off my door so I wouldn’t die if the house burned down. I got a smoke detector for my room and dad said it would be fine.
I told my friend Mac when it started and he thought it was cool now he even thinks its gross.
I can’t say anything to mom because she has just calmed down and will go nuts again.
Try to take care of it today if you can.

Sincerely,

Brad
Estimado Juez,
not going back
For 12 years I have been going to visitation just like you ordered. Last summer I spent 6 weeks at my mom’s. I called her a couple of months before summer to ask her if she would get my ticket for two weeks later than usual and I would stay two weeks later than usual. I have worked very hard at karate to qualify for the Nationals in Florida. She said, No, I already bought the ticket.” She wouldn’t let dad pay for the change in the tickets. I was so disappointed that I cried and I don’t cry much. I got my ticket and she bought it only one month before I came. Mom’s trailer is in the desert and the subdivision does not have a club house, game room, swimming pool, or activities. I only saw other kids once. Mom’s boyfriend and his 18 year old son live with mom and her four year old son. Mom works all the time but the boyfriend and his son don’t. I was either baby sitting the little boy or alone in the living room because the boyfriend would keep the little boy locked in the bedroom with him while he slept off his sick headaches all day. I called my dad and stepmom about 14 times each just to talk. After 11 days I asked my stepmom to send me my skateboard. She called from Wal-Mart to fill the room in the box. She put 4 kinds of cereal, fruit roll-ups, pop tarts, cashew nuts, snacks, and chips I asked for and some things she suggested. She spent 70 bucks. My stepmom called me back to say she sent it in c/o of mom at the Post Office so I would have it in 2-3 days. I told mom that the whole time I was there the 18 year old would punch me when I walked past. It hurt and left me black and blue. Mom said he was just playing. My dad called to see if I got my package but mom took my cell phone away and didn’t let me call home again. Mom said my package never came. When I got back home the post office sent us proof that my mom signed for my box. She never gave it to me. I am tired of getting lied to, beat up and stolen from. I am not going back.

Joshua
Estimado Juez,
dropped us off
I can not tell you my name because I do not want you to know who I am until after you answer my question.
My parents got a divorce. After a bunch of stupid stuff my dad got custody of us.
After three months my dad dropped us off at moms for Saturday and Sunday and never came back to get us. After that Dad’s cell phone number does not work any more and they say he does not work at the store any more.
It is good here and we want to stay here with mom. Mom still pays money out of her paycheck for us. Mom says we should stay quite and not say something.
Can dad come to take us back after we have been here with mom for the rest of the summer and all the school time?
Leave the answer with Miss Purdy at Jackson Elementary School she knows who I am but wont tell.
Estimado Juez,
not what I wanted
It is better now. It is not what I wanted. But, it is better now. Mom has lost 65 pounds and my grades are back up to B’s.
Dad is still working for the hospital and they may put him on staff permanently.
We can see that my big sister hasn’t cut herself in weeks and doesn’t mind us asking.
You said you wanted to keep in touch so that’s all for now.

Sincerely,

Elizabeth B.
Estimado Juez,
really a drag
Well everyone has everything they want but me. Mom gets to go be an important executive. Dad gets custody of me. I get zip.
I am thirteen and think you should take my needs in to account. At school I am not a preppie or a kicker. I am a skater. We don’t do drugs like people think we do. We just choose big clothes because they are comfortable and cool looking.
Dad tells me stupid stuff like, if I walk like a duck and talk like a duck and hang around with ducks, I am a duck. My dad treats me like a baby. I have to leave my bedroom door unlocked unless I am changing clothes. He made me take stuff about casting spells against your enemies off my web site and won’t let me get my tongue pierced like my best friend has. Dad makes me explain the lyrics to the songs I listen to. He says he can’t make out or understand my music. He takes some of my CD’s away. He checks up on me all the time.
Mom said that dad has her backing for any decisions about me.
Dad took me to talk to our pastor to talk about my future. Pastor said my dad is just doing what’s best for me. Pastor is clueless. I don’t want be like my parents or do the jobs they do, And I don’t need good grades. I am not going to college. I don’t need to college to be a Paranormal Event Investigator.
I hope you can do something to help me out. This is really a drag.

Later,

Dark Raven (Julia R.)
Estimado Juez,
If you need advice
You sent my parents to a class called, Parenting Through A Divorce. I think it helped them.
It would really help if you had a class called, How To Go Through Your Parents Divorce.
If you need some advice about what to put in the class I would be happy to help you. I think it would help children.

Yours very truly,

Belinda D.
Estimado Juez,
need each other
We know you don’t remember my twin brother and me but we remember you. My mother wanted me to live with her and my dad wanted Andy to live with him. We are really glad you didn’t let them separate us.
We have been keeping a diary. I write in blue and Samantha writes in red just like this letter. When we started our new diary for this year we decided to look at the first one we did.
We forgot that the first June we were making a plan to run away from home and live in a train car like the Box Car Kids. Lots of stuff that was real serious to us then is funny now.
We know that our diaries and having each other to talk to has helped us through the hard parts. We hope you have kept all the kids that want to stay together in a family together. They really need each other.

We thank you again,

Samantha and Andrew C.
Estimado Juez,
something about mom
My mom won’t let me call my grandmother any more. Since my grandfather died last year my mother has gotten meaner and meaner to her mother. Mom says she hates her mother and is even saying grandmother and grandfather beat her and did weird stuff to her and her sisters when they were small.
My aunts say it didn’t happen. Now even they aren’t allow to call or come here any more.
I don’t know what to do about my mom. She stopped all contact with dad and dad’s family when they got a divorce and now she doesn’t want any contact with our family.
If we call any of our grandparents we get screamed at and grounded. It is really lonely after spending so much time with our cousins and family.
One of my aunts is trying to get the family together to do something about mom. It will just make things worse. I don’t know what you can do but we need help.

Arnie
Estimado Juez,
i am sorry
i am sorry my brother is sorry so is my sister we wont be bad no more send my daddy home and we wil be hapi

chris
cammie
carl
Estimado Juez,
we lied about dad
My mother told us awful things about our dad all our lives. She made us hate him as much as she did for a long time.
We said lots of mean things to him and about him to other people. We would say anything mom told us to say.
I just wanted to tell you that the things we told you that our dad did, were a lie. We don’t know why we said those things but we did. We are sorry and want you to know it.
Both of my sisters are in college now and I will be finishing high school this year. When finals are done I am calling my dad to pick me up. I am tired of living with anger, hate and lies. I don’t care if I ever see my mother after that. I tried to leave when my sisters left but they talked me into staying until I finished high school. My sisters don’t even talk to mom when they call me.
I want to live with him and my step-mother. He is and always was a good man. My step-mother is a real nice person and cares about all of us. I just wanted you to know.

Sincerely,

Jason E.
Estimado Juez,
having a dad before
Thank you for letting me get to know my dad. I don’t remember having a dad before now. I get to do more stuff than before and my mom shows up for everything now.

Ron
Estimado Juez,
Hollywood judge
I would like the phone number of a judge in Hollywood. My best friend Emily says that’s where they make the television shows. She said the families on television are happy because they dont just make life up each day when they get out of bed. They have people that write a script that tells them what to say and do each day.
I would like a judge in Hollywood to make a happy family script for us. I think we would move to Hollywood if we have to live there to get that judge. It hasnt been nice here for a long time and I think we should try anything.
Please send a map from Lansing to Hollywood. My dad could probably drive us there this afternoon.

Love and kisses,

Marie I.
Estimado Juez,
would like to trade
I would like to trade the next Christmasses Thanksgivins Easters Valentines Birthdays Forth of Julyes and Holoweens four 100 years
if you will just put things back the way they was.
I think we could all forget how things are now really fastly.
My grandpa says you have to be willn to give up something to get somethn else you really want. If I didn’t give enough just let me no cause I still have some real nice stuff.

Thank You,

Cloie C.
Estimado Juez,
better with him gone
You were right. Jason does not like military school but we are all doing much better with him gone. He is doing better to.
Mother says she will practice before you again but it will take some time. Father reminded mother that she always felt you were fair with her clients so why couldn’t she see you were fair with her. Father says he knew it was the right decision when you made it. That is why you always see him in your court.
I miss Jason but if he had been sent away to school sooner I don think my parents would have to be divorced.

Respectfully,

Sheilah D.
Estimado Juez,
probably be unadopted
Me an my brother are adopted. They had to be a mom and a dad to get us. Mom and dad are getting a divorce and we will probably be unadopted.
I didn’t live any place cept the hospital before I was adopted. Lotar was with a bunch of families before we got him and he thinks one of them will take him back. I don’t think the hospital will take me back. I don’t have a job to get a house.
They didn’t say something so maybe you could divorce them and let them keep us.

Stanley
Estimado Juez,
both of my parents
I have a close relationship with both of my parents and do not want to hurt either of their feelings.
I believe both parents have done the best they could to provide for me and my siblings.
However, I do wish to live with my mother on a full-time basis. Mom and her husband have a farm in the state of South Dakota.
These are my reasons:
A. I don't particularly like the school that I attend in Arizona and the living situation with my father's uncle, whom I believe has a drinking problem.
B. I would enjoy living with my mother and her husband on their farm near Goodwin, South Dakota.
C. I would like to attend school in South Dakota.
D. I want to live nearer to my relatives, grandparents, uncles and aunts and cousins that live in the state of South Dakota.
E. I want to continue to have a close relationship with my father and I know my mother would allow frequent contacts with him and his family as often as I desire.
F. I love equally both of my parents however I believe and so do my siblings believe that we would be better off and happier if we live in South Dakota with my mother and her husband.
Thank you for considering this request. I have sent a copy to both of my parents attorney’s.

Blondie J.
Estimado Juez,
live with Dwayne
I will be 16 in 3 months and want to live with Dwayne my boyfriend. We have been seeing each other for 4 months and are in love. He is 22 and a great guy and has a good job and apartment. I am pregnant so you can see that I am not a child any more. I don't need to finish high school because I am going to be a house wife and take care of our children.
When I explained this to my mom she was totally unreasonable and went ballistic. I told her I was only telling her to be polite. It is time for me to start my own family and I will do a much better job than my mom did. We were screaming at each other and the nosey woman next door called the police. I was really mad and told them some stuff to get her in trouble. They didn’t do anything except to tell us that Child Protecting Services was going to check on what I said.
I want to be emancipated instead of living with my mom or dad. If you can't make my mom understand I will just have to leave. If I can't be with Dwayne my life will be ruined.

Sincerely,

Madison M.
Estimado Juez,
I should not worry
Kacie said you are the same judge that she had for her divorce and I should not worry. Kacie and her momie made me a divorce backpack with a doll, a flashlight, a address book, a new toothbrush with a little baby tooth paste, some bandaids, a new hair brush, a coloring book, markers, a picture frame with room for mom and dad. Kacie said I will be ok.

Love,

Clarice
Estimado Juez,
with my grandmother
Thank you for letting me live with my grandmother. The foster care family was very nice but they were not my family.
I don’t think I will ever understand why my dad killed my mom. Mrs. Morrison at the lawyers office said she will always be available at no cost to help my grandmother and me plan my future. I think she feels responsible. I know grandmother and I wish we could have done something to change things.
I just wanted you to know we are alright.

Yours truly,

Emma
Estimado Juez,
grannys fault
My dad and my granny don’t like each other any more. Cause my granny is on moms side and dad said most everything is grannies fault and granny said dad was never no good. Dad says granny would not throw old dish water on us if we was on fire next to her house.
I remember when they all laughed together and huged each other every time we all came to grannys house.
I didn’t like it when they talk bad so I put my ear mufs on. When they start talking bad and when I don’t have my ear mufs I go stand in the bathroom.
Ever body talked to me about my ear mufs and I said I will put on my ear mufs from now on. I dont have to stand in the bathroom or put on my ear mufs very much now.

Landon M.
Estimado Juez,
stopped listening
I am writing to you because my parents stopped listening to me when they split up.
Even since I can remember when our parents took us to visit people we didn’t like they would say, “You don’t have to love these people. But you do have to be polite to them. It’s just good manners.”
Now that they are divorced they don’t even have good manners with each other. I feel just like they did when I was a kid. They don’t have to love each other, but they should at least be polite to each other. Even if they have to pretend for us. It would make us feel lots better.
There are about twenty of us in my homeroom class at junior high school that are having the same problem. I just told you that so you would know that if you can do something about this it would be helping a bunch of us.

Thank you,

Brian M.
Estimado Juez,
we look fine
Ya’ll think you are so smart. I know how to make it stop hurting. Dad drinks beer till he passes out. Then we can do what ever we want and you know what he don’t even notice when the hard stuff goes away. He thinks his friends drink too much. We don’t hurt either. The joke is he looks awful in the morning and we look fine.

Hugh
Estimado Juez,
still love her two
I would like to live with my Dad. It is much better there. I don’t have to go to bed till I make the decision that I am ready for rest. I am trusted to do homework. My room is my room and I don’t have to keep it at grownup standards. The cleaning service takes care of the chores. And Dad takes me to lots of very very nice places I would not normally get to go to.
When I told my Dad I wanted to live with him he gave me a big hug and said he loved me. It made me feel really good. I know it will make him happy if you let me move.
When I told my Mom I wanted to live with my Dad she cried and then got disscusted with me. I told her it would made Dad very happy and make me happy. My Mom said that my Dad never did live in the real world.
When Mom got done ben disscusted with me she said I could write you a letter. And she would do what ever you said.
I told Dad about Mom was going to let me send you a letter. He gave me a big hug and kiss and said not to hold my breath. My Dad said everything was fine and that he would love me no matter where you let me live.
I would still have my stuff at my Moms house cause I will still love her two.

Your friend,

Isador
Estimado Juez,
nobody can see me
I feel like nobody can see me anymore.

Lacy H.
Estimado Juez,
trash my first letter
I would like you to trash my first letter.
I ran away and the police arrested me and my boyfriend Jens. He will probably lose his job and he might go to jail.
When the police asked me questions I told them that mom beat me up and did dope with me. After they talked to my mom they took me to a place they called a Youth Crisis Center. It's really a kid jail. I thought they were going to arrest my mom for child abuse or something. They did ask her questions for almost three hours.
I was scared pretty good being in that place cause there were some really bad kids. One girl even put another girls head through the wall. I saw more of that place than I ever want to. Guess I was headed down the wrong road. I don't want to be in that place again. The officer that checked me out said that if I run away or get into trouble again, I will go to juvenile hall next time. She said juvie is much worse that the Crisis Center. Then the next step is real jail with adults.
My mom is going to keep me out of school for the rest of the week so we can work on fixing our relationship. We are going to counseling twice a week. Last night was a good night.

Cynthina J.
Estimado Juez,
live at my school
Can I just live at my school? We rote a story about our summer and Miss Baker moved my desk up to the front row. They really like me there and it is safe. I always go early and stay as late as they let me. I even get a nice breakfast.

Maryellen
Estimado Juez,
proud of my A
I am in big trouble cause of my A that Miss Shell gave me. When I was writing about what I did this summer it was easy to write my paper and when I got a A for my paper I was happy and when my dad and my stepmom saw my paper and my A I was happy but when my mom saw my A and my paper I got in trouble.
My mom said that I should have said that I liked my summer at her house and that I had a good time and that I want to live there all the time and I love my stepdad and my stepsister and she took me to lots of fun places and spends lots of time with me and it is better than my dads house.
But when I told Miss Shell that my mom was mad at me because of what I said on my paper and that I had to fix it Miss Shell said my paper was just right and that I should always write about the way I see things not the way other people tell me to see things and I should be proud of my A and to tell my mom that once a paper is graded it can not be changed. I do not want to talk to mom about it could you?

T.C.
Estimado Juez,
did I do wrong?
Why did you send me to live with my dad? What did I do wrong?

Riki
Estimado Juez,
He is a slob
It is great visiting my dad. He is a slob and I get to be a slob when I am there and I get to sleep in my clothes.

Bo
Estimado Juez,
don’t live in the car
Please let me stay with my mother. We don’t live in the car anymore. We live in a real nice place with a kitchen and everything. The apartment house is the same place my mother works. Mrs. Marston said mom is doing a great job and that they are going to keep her. Mr. Readheart mother’s probation officer said he would be able to talk with you anytime you need him. He thinks mother is on the right track and I am an important stabilizing element in her life.
I am much happier with mother than I am with my grandparents. They are sure my mother is never going to straighten out and they say awful things about her all the time. When they are displeased with me they say I am going to turn out just like my mother.
My mother is a good person and really loves me. I go to her AA meetings with her and she goes with me to all of my team sports and my school events and church and helps me with my homework. My attendance and grades are still good. I asked Mrs. Jacob to talk to you if you call the school.
There are only two of us but we are a real family and help each other. Next year I will be old enough to choose where I want to live. Please leave me here on the same temporary order from six months ago. My grandparents don’t care that we are really doing very good together. My mother and I are sure you will help.

Sincerely,

Rhonda F.
Estimado Juez,
hard to remember
It is hard to remember what my dad looks like and remember that he loves me.

Danny
Estimado Juez,
not have a divorce
Thank you for helping my mom and dad not have a divorce. Now I need you to fix this problem of my mom and dad divorcing my Mema an Papa.
Dad said they were the cause of all our troubles. Cause they were helping my mom when we lived with them because mom and dad were divorcing. Bailey and me did not know that.
Mema and Papa can not come here or call anymore. I think they will be good if you tell them they have to be good. They live on the block in the back of our block and I can not go there any more.
I miss them so much. Call them and call dad.

Brandon and Bailey


Estimado Juez,
has a star
At Safe Haven Visitation Center I asked my real mom why she didn’t send me a birthday gifts. She said she always sent me presents for Christmas and birthday. I told her I never got any. So she named a bunch of dolls, books and games she sent to me. I thought my dad got them for me. Mom said each one has a star drawn or sewn on everything she has ever sent me.
In my stuff there was a star drawn in almost all of my books and sewn into alot of my clothes and dolls. I did not say nothing to my dad or Patty.
I just want you to know.

Bye,

Carmella
Estimado Juez,
mom is a dancer
I really need some help. My mom is a dancer and works at night which means her boyfriend (whoever that happens to be this month) watches me at night. Some of her boyfriends have been real creeps, some have been ok and some just sleep and eat when she is not home. Lots of stuff happened to me when I was small but I don’t put up with anything anymore. I need you to help me find my father who left when my mom became a dancer. Mom said she had to become a dancer because her life was so dull and dad did not make enough money.
The stuff my mom tells me is dull I think would be nice. I need a dull life and I think my father would like to see me again now that my mom can’t stop me from talking to him.

Thank you in advance,

Malane
Estimado Juez,
instead of protecting
I have lived with my mom since she and dad got divorced when I was 2. We never talked much about him either way. Last summer I told mom I wanted to meet dad. She wasn’t very excited about it but she arranged for him to call me.
It was so cool talking to him on the phone. I told him I wanted to see him in person because I only saw him in wedding pictures and my baby pictures. He finally said OK. Dad picked me up for dinner at a fancy restaurant. He opened the car door for me at my house and the restaurant, held my chair.
When he took me home I told mom I wanted to spend every other weekend with dad. She looked uncomfortable but said, ‘fine’. I met Annette, dad’s girlfriend and Matt, his friend who had the other bedroom at the apartment. I slept on the couch in the living room. Matt would watch TV with me after dad and Annette would go to bed. Dad and Annette and me and Matt started to go everywhere together.
After a month of visits and a week of arguing with mom, I changed my visits to every weekend. I told her I really needed more time with dad. Everything was really cool and everyone treated me like an adult. Then one of mom’s friends called. She saw me at a nightclub so made-up she had to look twice to make sure and that I was being inappropriate with a grown man
When I got home, I had to tell mom everything about dad’s and she went ballistic saying that, “Matt, Dad and Annette could go to jail for what had been going on for almost a year”. After she talked to dad he didn’t try to call. As if he ever did. Mom said what was going on was wrong and that they had taken advantage of me instead of protecting me. I understand why mom feels the way she does and I feel really weird, ashamed and relieved at the same time. I don’t know if I will ever want to see dad again.

Ruby
Estimado Juez,
my responsibility
I am the oldest of four kids and feel that it is my responsibility to make sure we get through this. When our parents sat us down and explained that they were getting a divorce we all cried. Then it didn’t seem real because they are still both here. In the beginning it was only until they could afford for one of them to move out and they weren’t very clear about which one that would be. This divorce has been going on for a year and a half. Dad lives in the guest room on the second floor next to mine and mom lives in their old room. This usually works out pretty good but as things get closer to coming to an end Daisy and Andrew are having a really rough time.
They do a good job of being polite to each other and making sure we get to where we need to be. I don’t think either one could handle it alone. Every so often it feels like if we don’t say anything about it the divorce will go away. I know things don’t go away if you ignore them.
I feel our parents have an obligation to care for us and that they should do what ever it takes to meet that obligation. I think we have the right to expect to be loved and live with both our parents. It should be the most important contract an adult has and they should have to complete it rather than be released from it by a divorce.
Having one of our parents move out of our home will be a great hardship for us and may cause serious long term damage to us emotionally. The children of this family are ‘interested parties’ in this matter and we ask to he heard.

Sincerely,

Richard, Donna, Andrew and Daisy
Estimado Juez,
Funeral Notice
Funeral Notice
The remaining family members and friends of the Biglows gathered today to pay honor to and say good bye to a fine family. The Biglow family died Thursday June 15th of a divorce at the Clark County Courthouse after a painful illness of eight months. “It was a wonderful family and important part of the community.” said Michael Havit, a long-time family friend. Many things caused the adult members of the family to reconsider their needs and values and helped propel the family into the broken-family spotlight.
Our families are made of the parts of many other lives, so this loss will make many things happen in those lives. We hope some of those things will be happy.
Yes Judge, you missed the funeral. You really chopped us up and spit us out before you were done. But I guess the guy that kills something doesn’t usually get to go to the grave side service.
We actually did dig a hole and burry a wooden box with things from our old life. Family photos from 9 Christmas, a picture of mom and dad dancing at John and Chris’s wedding, the house key, paper dolls with each of our names on them and their hands taped together in a circle, certificate of appreciation from our church and 3 dog collars from dogs we had that have graves on the side yard.
We are just glad to be out from under your thumb.

We remain, What’s left of the Biglows
Estimado Juez,
to protect them
I know you are going to be mad at me but I don’t got no where else to go. When you took me from my family it really did help. I never was given a foster family but it was nice with Mrs. Whittiker and her staff. They tell me I have to leave here on my 17th birthday and I still ain’t out of school yet and don’t have a work permit. They invited me to still be part of group on Thursday night but I am pretty sure my father won’t let me.
I am not afraid to go home and I know what is acceptable now and am able to say no. It is better for me to go home now since I have some little sisters that probably need me to protect them. As soon as I can I will make a real home for me and them.

Thank you for everything.

Shelly L.

Estimado Juez,
cutting herself again
My sister is cutting herself again.
Swore I wouldn’t tell anyone but its getting really bad. No one notices because she has always been quiet. It started when it got really shitty around here. Debbie cried when they started fighting then just stopped so I thought she was dealing. Then I saw her arm the same time dad did. Deb said her friends cat scratched her and dad bought it. I could tell they weren’t scratches and told her to stop. She said she did it the first time just to see if she could feel anything anymore but now she can’t stop because it makes her feel better.
I’ve tried everything. Deb says if I tell anyone she will disappear. She’s almost gone now. We are all dying here in one way or another. Can’t you do something to help.

Dustin S.
Estimado Juez,
week in Alaska
It is summer and I am at visitation and it’s great.
You did a great job. I always knew I wanted to spend time with my dad and you made sure I could.
I am with my dad in his truck and we just spent a week in Alaska. We have a great big Red Kenworth with a huge sleeper and we pull a 53 foot dry van and I get to talk on the CB. We sit in the drivers area at the truck stop and I am marking the roads we drive on in my own atlas. We picked up our load in Arkansas and went through Missouri, Iowa, Minnesota. Then we had to pass through Customs at the Canada border and I saw real Mounties and through Manitoba, Saskatchewan, Alberta and British Columbia into the Yukon then into Alaska. We delivered our load in Anchoage and took a week of vacation time. We flew in an airplane and I got to sit up front with the pilot and fly the plane. Then we rode mountain bicycles and drove to the ocean to go deep sea fishing. We had the fish we caught sent my dads house and we are going to cook it when we get there.
On the way home we went south through British Columbia, back to Canada Customs then into Washington, Oregon and delivered in Sacramento, California. There we picked up a load to Denver, Colorado. Now we are waiting for another load and I just wanted to tell you how I was doing and thank you for everything.

Your Trucker Friend,

Sam
Estimado Juez,
they don’t even ask
If I tell something bad will happen to us. Lots of people should know. But they don’t even ask. When I am big I will help the children cause I know.
Estimado Juez,
What I asked for
I got what I asked for. Turns out being on my own isn’t as cool as I thought it would be. Divorced my parents both have to work more hours to pay their bills.
Even with the extra money worries I just have to ask for something and I get it because they want to make up for them breaking up our family.
I can stay up, out or leave when ever I want. But since my friends still have to be home just like I used to have to be so there isn’t anyone to hang with. It was fun at first. I even went through every drawer and cabinet in the house. As long as I answer my cell and give the right answers and clean up anything I have been into I can eat, drink or smoke anything I want and no one even knows.
Its easy to be around the little bit of time they want to see me. Then I have to stand there and listen to each parent tell everyone what a good kid I am and how well I am handling the divorce.
They don’t seem any better off than before and it’s really all a waste. I hate them for not caring and just keep thinking what fools they are.

Austin M.
Estimado Juez,
every Friday night
We still haven’t heard from Paul and don’t know where he is. Mom has settled down since we found some places on the internet to leave messages for him.
Dad stops buy and picks me up for dinner every Friday night. We have dinner and talk.
The after school job at mom’s company has turned into full time until summer is over. Most of our classes are filled with adults who need to learn business programs to get a better job and I like helping them.
It’s not the family we had but it is the family we have now and we are doing the best we can.

Kelton
Estimado Juez,
We are all back
I told you this divorce would never work. We are all back living in the house again.

Seth
Estimado Juez,
parental abduction
I was 6 when you awarded custody to my mother, my father took me away, saying, it would be the only way we could be together and happy. With the re-telling, and explanations, I thought I was part of decision to leave.
Drama in our lives was intense with plots of those attempting to hunt us down and harm us. Everyone on a motorcycle was part of my mother's boyfriend's gang. Police officers were on the take and working for my mother. She ruined every chance we had by sending bad guys after us. We lived shadow lives for seven years changing our names every time we moved. Living in pay-by-the-week motels, I watched TV days while my father slept. Then we did reading, writing and math lessons and worked nights. My father was arrested when the police investigated a fight he got into at work and he told them where to find me.
I am living with my mother and it is strained. I am angry that my father taught me that my mother was dangerous. I still don't trust her even thought I know she isn't who my father said she was. I feel like a bad daughter for hiding from my mother and for betraying my father by learning to love my mother. We didn’t have a life when we were running. I want this, but it is hard. I want a life with my mother and her husband an my half sisters. I want a pet. I want to go to school. Most of all I want to belong.
I hope you won’t put my father in jail. It isn’t what my mother or I want. Everyone makes mistakes.

Have a wonderful day, Tara
Estimado Juez,
outside this time
Please have the valuator come back out to our house. The day she came was not a day like all the rest. The kitchen caught fire because my brother was trying to make cheese grill sandwiches for us kids to eat so mom could talk to the valuator. Tell Miss Hill the dog never peed on anyone before and we will put him outside this time.

Yours truly,

Bobby J.